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A wise married couple should remind a dating couple that .
A dating couple likely will not make sufficient promises or decisions or resolves within the structure of their relationship to fully address a person’s sexual past. Don’t try to resolve the conversation about sexual past in the dating relationship, but have it to the extent that it’s appropriate.
Television can make such a history into a lot of things — meaningless, devastating, even humorous.
But it cannot redeem it, at least not in any truly deep and lasting way.
It would be a terrible violence to give someone’s past sins power over them that they didn’t previously have.
“The fear of man lays a snare” (Proverbs ): the trap is . Bringing your partner’s sexual past up repeatedly will destroy your relationship quickly: “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends” (Proverbs 17:9).
Obsessions with your partner’s past likely signals that you have some work to do. Make your close, trusted, selective friend group the place to think openly in confidence, and make your relationship the place where you speak intentionally and thoughtfully.
Remember this: meaningful sex isn’t primarily about a particular (1 Corinthians 7:4; Ephesians –32) — and only in the God-appointed context of the marriage covenant.
The sustaining benefit of sex in marriage is not the orgasm, but the committed intimate relationship.