I am dating my ex wife
If he doesn’t respond to his ex’s calls for help with the kids, he might worry that they aren’t okay and that he’s neglecting their needs.
But if he does respond, he might worry that he’s making you feel angry or unimportant.
But others will require you both to talk about your expectations in this relationship.
While you want to be with Adam, you must understand that the person you’re in love with is somebody who has a family.
He comes with his children, and his children come with their mother.
There’s no such thing as Adam without them—that version of Adam simply doesn’t exist.
At the same time, I understand that in an ideal world, the kids would have a more stable and self-sufficient mother who wouldn’t intrude on your time with Adam.
You say that you feel “robbed of something that should be” yours, and while you absolutely should have some uninterrupted time with Adam and parameters set in place, it will be important for you and Adam to talk about his needs as well.
If you can begin to really accept and ultimately embrace the reality that his kids come first without taking it personally, then you and Adam can sit down and figure out what can be done to improve the situation with their mother.
One option might be for Adam and his ex to see a therapist who can help them navigate their co-parenting arrangement, creating parameters and offering tools for handling the kids when his ex is alone with them.
If it turns out that even with these parameters and tools, she’s unable to care for the kids without calling for help, he can try to change the custody arrangement until she works out her own issues and feels capable of caring for them solo.
The kids’ main residence is with her, and Adam has the kids a few days a week.
The ex constantly sends Adam texts about the kids, from mundane details to complaints about their behavior.