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Bethesda are understated in their depiction of the deed, if only for fear of having to animate all the wobbly bits without somebody’s crucial parts sticking in the terrain and elongating to span the gap between Sanctuary and the Glowing Sea (incidentally the same technique employed by the medical practitioners who send enthusiastic emails to young men of low self-esteem).

True to life, sex in Fallout 4 is contingent upon a series of regular and increasingly challenging charisma tests.

” screams your mother, as she puts the sofa up on cinder blocks to protect it from the rising tide of sex. ” “Get with it mum, you massive prude,” you shout in reply, opening the back door and allowing a great wave of filthy sex to wash over the living room, carrying your dad’s slippers away in a frothy deluge while the family dog barks and barks, confused and soaking. When it comes to sex games, South Park: The Stick of Truth is as unconventional as they get.

Have a cold shower on standby: these are the best PC sex games around.

Whichever way you slice this cake, however, it is layers of sex sponge with sex filling in between, no doubt about it.

From steamy sexy times in The Witcher 3, space rumpy-pumpy in Mass Effect: Andromeda, to kinky bedroom antics in Fallout 4, these are the sexiest games on PC. The fight does not end there, as soon you find yourself locked in conflict with an Underpants Warlock on the bed, dodging limbs and swinging appendages with graphic quick time events. The Mass Effect series is the only reason you are ever likely to use the word ‘romanceable’ – at least until that inevitably becomes the name of a problematic dating app made in Silicon Valley.

They start going at it on their bed while you fight off a band of underwear-stealing gnomes on the opposite dresser – because South Park.

Relentless, unfettered and delightfully progressive sex. Games like Dragon Age 3: Inquisition also let you perform the horizontal mambo.

Those randy reprobates at Bio Ware need to be doused in several gallons of the iciest water available.

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