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For example, says Lundquist, the couples therapist, if you go on a date with your cousin’s roommate, the roommate has some incentive to not be a jerk to you.But with apps, “You’re meeting somebody you probably don’t know and probably don’t have any connections with at a bar on 39th Street.There’s been plenty of hand-wringing and gnashing of teeth over how Tinder reinvent dating: Maybe it would transform the dating scene into an endless virtual marketplace where singles could shop for each other (like an Amazon for human companionship), or perhaps it would turn dating into a minimal-effort, transactional pursuit of on-demand hookups (like an Uber for sex).But the reality of dating in the age of apps is a little more nuanced than that.

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For Flores and her husband, having access to a bigger pool of fellow single people was a great development.You don’t look like what I thought you looked like,’ and walked away.”But other users complain of rudeness even in early text interactions on the app.Some of that nastiness could be chalked up to dating apps’ dependence on remote, digital communication; the classic “unsolicited dick pic sent to an unsuspecting match” scenario, for example.The 30-year-old Jess Flores of Virginia Beach got married to her first and only Tinder date this past October, and she says they likely would have never met if it weren’t for the app.For starters, Flores says, the guys she usually went for back in 2014 were what she describes as “sleeve-tattoo” types.

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