Carry on dating
Whether through choice of school programs and extracurricular activities in college (I was a public relations major and I was in a sorority, both of which required a certain level of communications skills), or fields of work post-graduation (I work in nonprofits which tend to not only attract a wide variety of employees, but also a very diverse clientele), I’ve mostly always been around people who are pretty decent at holding a conversation. Trying to talk to men on dating apps is so horrifically painful.
I didn’t know it was possible for people to be so horrendous at conversation.
This guy took a funny “opening line” and ruined it immediately. It makes everything feel like an interview and it does NOT make me want to go on a date with you.- Ask really vague boring questions that everyone asks — how was your day? I once had to take a break from dating apps for a few weeks because I was so tired of answering how my day was all the time.
This is the BIGGEST issue I encounter on dating apps. That was legitimately the main reason I needed a break.
While we are worried about who should message who first, or making sure we don’t respond right away so as not to seem over-eager, someone who would have been good for us might be meeting someone else who actually talks to them like a normal person.
Plus, a guy that is going to be put off by the fact that I’m willing to message first is not my kind of guy anyway.
Exhibit A: In this instance, the guy I matched with had kind of a vague bio compared to what I am normally interested in, but at least he wrote SOMETHING, and his photos were alright so I gave him a shot ……I HATE this “just ask” mentality.
And acting like someone doesn’t need to have personality just because they are attractive is basically saying “I don’t care about what you have to say.” I know some people feel like they DON’T need to have personality because they are attractive but 1. If you haven’t seen an indication of someone feeling this way, why automatically assume they feel so entitled?
I encountered a very similar situation a few weeks ago, but this one was even worse because we had SO much in common. I got so frustrated that I eventually had to say something because I felt he was acting so incredibly selfish during this conversation.
This conversation should have been SO EASY for him to do well in and he couldn’t even bother to just put a “you? Which brings me to my next point…Sometimes in the initial stages of a conversation, you can have a back and forth simply by just asking someone “What about you? By not doing this ONE thing, so many conversations die.
I have no issue with messaging first, even on non-Bumble apps, and I don’t even mind leading the conversation to an extent.
I feel like if you want something (or someone) go for it — life is short, and we spend too much time overthinking our interactions on apps.