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That, or you’re in serious denial about your emotions. People who practice non-monogamy are more than aware of the existence of jealousy, and more than capable of experiencing it themselves.
Rather than the absence of jealousy, non-monogamy relies on an acceptance of jealousy, with the ultimate goal of acknowledging it, unlearning it, and replacing it with compersion - a feeling of happiness in one’s self derived from the happiness of another. Jealousy, while it can be worked with and talked through, is a natural emotion that even those of us who choose to take a non-traditional path still experience. Especially when you’ve grown up in a society that equates love to possession, the work of dealing with jealousy is not easy.
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You are not being asked simply to trust that your partner will obey your mutually established rules, but instead to trust in your mutually established love.
But café girl goes out of town for two weeks on Friday.
Do you wait two weeks and risk the fizzle, or talk to your partner about making an exception?
Trust that even as a secondary or tertiary lover, you are still cared for and respected.
Not to knock the merits or challenges of monogamy, but where time management, jealousy and trust are concerned, non-monogamous folk have a bit of a fuller plate, if I must say so myself.